Dealing with my side affects.

At the end of June last year, specifically my 18th birthday, I was prescribed a pain medication. It was a great birthday present. I only have needed a pain medication for my fibromyalgia, EDS and M.E./CFS for a very long time. The thing I didn't realise was, that one of the side affects to this particular pain medication was gaining weight. I won't mention the pain medication name. We will just call it S. I knew that dizzyness, and fatigue could be side affects of S, I did get those, but only for the first few days. Over 3 months, I gained 10KG.

 June last year.

 Today

People around me, still say I look healthy, it is now almost a year since starting it, and it hasn't been long since I stopped because it honestly wasn't making a difference, but 10Kg to me, is a lot. I have struggled with my body image so much. I was at the point, on my 18th birthday that I actually was very happy with my body. I'd been at the same weight for over a year at that stage, and it wasn't until that May, that I started to love it. I had realised, I was the perfect weight, and I looked good. 10Kg later, my stomach constantly looks bloated, and some days, I look pregnant. I can't fit into any of my winter pants, bar one, and that is squeezing into them. Now, I have lost all confidence in my body. I want to hide it. I stare at my stomach and poke it after having a shower, wishing it would just go back to it's old self. I burst into tears last week, in Big W because I couldn't get my lower leg through a pair of jeans I was trying on... Not because of the jeans, because everything that makes me happy, in one way or another is destroyed through the illnesses I have. I have to give up opportunities, or put them on hold, medications that make me feel sick and cause me to miss out on events, or as this one has, made me put on weight and cause me to hate my body once again. I want to love it again, I do. I want to be confident, and wear my bikini even if it is getting into the cooler months. I want to not wear shapewear under a tight dress, or choose to wear a loose dress over a tight one.

What am I doing to change my weight and deal with this side affect?
1. I started a Mediterranean Diet. I will be posting my favourite recipes in a new post soon. This diet is meant to be amazing, for losing weight & for helping with health. I have had to adjust it, to suit my food intolerances, and the fact I need high salt intake for my POTS. But it's a huge start. I already feel slightly better.
2. I've started once a week, spending 20 minutes doing pilates. I'm starting with my legs. When they are strong enough, to also add other exercises we will. I know this will take some time though.
3. Swimming. It is starting to get cool, but I try to go swimming at least once a week.
4. Being positive. It has helped me in the past, with my positive writings every day, it will help me now, and in the future.

I know this hasn't been much of 'dealing' with my side affects, more of how badly I'm coping. I hope that maybe this post, helps someone else who is feeling awful. My page and email is always open for messages. Sometimes a chat can make a world of a difference.